Monday, July 27, 2009

The inverted pyramid ... still necessary?

As mentioned in the Facebook page, I am questioning the relevancy of the inverted pyramid. DINFOS taught us that the inverted pyramid was born during the Civil War. We all adopted it. We have used it for so many years. But, I ask now, is it still needed? How many of our news stories actually end up in newspapers? For the most part, we are uploading the news into Navy Newsstand.

In my opinion, the inverted pyramid still meets the needs of today's readers no matter if they get their news on the Internet, in newspapers or even on their phones. We all claim we are too busy to read a whole story.

So, what are the parts of a news story: Lead, Bridge, Body ...
1. Lead contains the who, what, when and where at a minimum. Sometimes the why and how are available; they should be included if possible.
2. The bridge contains other important facts. Remember WAITS? What does WAITS stand for?
  • W- the five W or H not found in the lead
  • A- attribution (a quote)
  • I- identification ... remember the impersonal who? We can discuss that at a different time.
  • T- tie-back to a previous story or event
  • S- secondary information of significant importance.

3. The body contains other lesser-important details in descending order of importance.

Happy writing ... look forward to reading them all.

Today's photo comes to us from Mr. Joseph P. Cirone -- an interesting photo.

Have a great day!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Welcome USS Hawaii (SSN 776)

Aloha, USS Hawaii and crew! Welcome to Pearl Harbor.

Better yet, great job Hawaii-based MCs, who pulled together to cover such a wonderful event. From shooting video to shooting stills to escorting media, the MCs here made it happen. We had folks on the sub, in a helo, in a tower and on the pier.

If you would like to check out the coverage, visit http://www.csp.navy.mil/

The photo here was shot by MC2(AW) Meagan Klein. Can you see Diamondhead in the background? Great job, Shipmates!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Adding a Facebook page

Hey everyone. It seems that this blog needs to give birth to a FB page to complement what I am trying to do here. Join me there ... and here :)

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Our history ... historic or historical

Aloha, Shipmates. Tonight I am chilling out watching the Military Channel -- more specifically, a documentary on the Battle of Gettysburg. I have been to this historic battlefield several times, and I have taken tours from battlefield historians. But, tonight, my focus was directed toward the soldiers and the many civilians who took time to document this battle. I would say, my friends, that as Navy journalists, we have the responsibility of ensuring that today's conflicts and events are documented for future generations. How cool is that?

Today, we also welcome social media, which, if you ask me, is another means by which we can tell our story. Have any of you created a blog to tell about your experiences? Anyone in your respective commands? I think there are ways to take these blogs and publish them. Again, how cool is this?

COMPACFLT public affairs is working on an aggregator for Navy blogs. We not only want to highlight command blogs, but quality blogs from our shipmates, who are are writing about their personal experiences. If you know if any, please pass that on to us. Thanks.
Would love to hear more about how our MCs are using social media to tell the Navy story. Rumor has it, guidance is in the works by our PA/VI leadership; so if some of you are being held back from using social media, your time may come soon. Nonetheless, MCPON is even on Facebook. Check it out.

Before I close, something of the stylebook kind came to my mind -- historic vs. historical. Would you say that the Battle of Gettysburg is historic or historical? Historic, I would say. Why is that? Something historical is anything that happened in history. Events of major significance are historic. The Battle of Gettysburg definitely fits this category. Another example ... a ship's homecoming, I would say, is historical. The commissioning of a ship? Now that's a good question. For an internal publication, this may be an historic event. Your thoughts?

Look forward to hearing from some folks. Please share this blog if you would like.
Thanks,
Senior

Friday, July 17, 2009

What's all this attribution stuff all about...

So, in basic journalism, we are taught to use attribution when we need to give credit to someone else for saying something. We attribute opinions, medical information, facts that are not easily verifiable. But, I must ask. Do some of you input attribution just to say you have used quotes? In other words, do we put quotes in our stories that really don't need to be quotes?

I encourage everyone to only use quotes when the quotes are necessary for one of the reasons above and when the quotes truly add depth and interest to the news articles we write. Boring quotes can be paraphrased.

To obtain good quotes, one has to start with good questions during the interview phase of your story building. When we cover events with guest speakers, we must remember to obtain more information for the news article from more sources than just the speaker. Talk to folks in the audience. Talk to coordinators. I encourage writers to not limit themselves to the speaker's comments.

As a former judge in the CHINFO Merit award competition, I can tell you that great stories -- award-winning stories -- have depth in their quotes.
That's all I want to say about that ...

Now, for today's photo ... let's send a shot out to MCSN Oliver Cole. Great photo, shipmate!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Pacific Partnership

Check out the Pacific Partnership 2009 blog. Great work out there folks!

http://pacificpartnership.wordpress.com/

Rate Training Manual update

Hello everyone ... just thought I would fill everyone in on a future project that will affect all MCs and hopefully improve training and professional development. A group of subject-matter experts will come together next month to build a new MC rate training manual. More to follow on this, but I will try to keep everyone posted.
Before I close, however, I want to send a shout out to MC2 Nardelito Gervacio for a great photo ... Thanks, Shipmate!

Have a good one!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Fireworks over USS Ohio!


Want to give a shout out to the PAO for SUBPAC here in Pearl Harbor, LCDR Dave Benham, who shot this photo on the Fourth of July. Great shot, Sir.

Monday, July 13, 2009

How do you shoot fireworks?

Well, hello there shipmates. I know it has been quite some time since my last post, but the 4th of July holiday came and went, as did my last duty week here on the Pacific Fleet staff. I can tell you though that my love for grammar and writing still remains, and I am constantly seeing things that just make me wonder. However, today I want to jump back the most-recent holiday and ask all of you great photogs out there -- how in the world you get those great fireworks shots? So, if anyone out there would like to share that would be great! Speaking of fireworks, today's photo comes from MC1 Jason Swink from right here in Pearl Harbor.

Thanks,

Senior

Monday, June 29, 2009

Attention to detail, Shipmates

Aloha! The weekend has passed, yet it passed too quickly. We need to talk shop, however. So, here goes.
Contrary to most folks' thoughts, I do not spend every waking moment thinking about grammar and writing. But, I do love the fact that I am always learning something about grammar and writing. We should all strive to learn something new every day. I don't think anyone would disagree with that.
But learning something new isn't why I like to tackle everyday grammar and writing problems. No one is perfect. I don't think anyone would disagree with that either. We all make mistakes. The English language is tough.
Okay, enough beating around the bush. I am here tonight to talk about attention to detail. Sure, we all should learn something every day. And, we recognize that no one is perfect. But, striving for perfection in our writing should be an everyday goal for all MCs.
Today, in a public affairs product, it was discovered that the creator spelled the name of one of our ships incorrectly. Just the other day, I noticed on Navy.mil that photos were submitted with the photographer's ship's name misspelled. The ship this photog serves on EVERY DAY. The worst part of it was no one in the chop chain noticed, not even the folks at Navy Visual News.
Okay, enough preaching. Today I challenge everyone to pay attention to detail in our writing. Always let someone edit your product. Don't be offended by the edits. Recognize we are a team and it our job collectively to tell the Navy story.
With that said, I have to send kudos out to MCSN Adam K. Thomas, whose photo is featured today. Nice shot.
Until next time,
Write on!

Friday, June 26, 2009

pronoun-antecedent agreement

Aloha, Shipmates!


Here we are again on Let's Talk Shop! Tonight I wanted to discuss pronouns and their antecedents. Wow, it's hard enough spelling antecedent. Anyway, this is one grammar issue I see that runs wild in our Navy writing.
What do we mean by pronoun-antecedent agreement? A pronoun and its antecedent must agree when both are singular or both are plural.
Here are some examples:
Collective Nouns: collective nouns identify a group, such as a jury, a committee, a team, etc. Typically, collective nouns take a singular pronouns.
For example:
WRONG ANSWER: X-division gave their recommendation for cleaning stations.
RIGHT ANSWER: X-division gave its recommendation for cleaning stations.
Other possible answer: Members of X-division gave their recommendations for cleaning stations.

What if you need to use a generic pronoun to identify someone?
For example:
- A DINFOS student must study hard if they want to succeed. CAN'T USE THIS ONE!
- A DINFOS student must study hard if he wants to succeed. CORRECT. Some may say this is sexist though. Your thoughts?
- Best way: DINFOS students must study hard if they want to succeed.


Well, that's it today. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Oh yeah, today's photo was taken by MC1 Michael Moriatis. Thanks, Shipmate.

Until next time. Write on!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The just-gotta-use-it hyphen


Aloha, Shipmates ...

It's Tuesday here in Hawaii and time to talk about the hyphen here on the MC blog. Basic usage information can be found in the AP Stylebook, but I thought I would pull out the highlights and post them here. So, here goes:


1. Hyphens are joiners.

2. We use them to avoid ambiguity or to form a single idea from two or more words.

3. Use is far from standardized. It is optional in most cases, a matter of taste, judgement and style sense.

4. AP guidance does not address all possible uses. Use the first listed entry in Webster's New World College Dictionary if not listed in the AP Stylebook.

5. Some examples.



  • avoid ambiguity: The president will speak to small-business men. We would not call them small business men as a size reference.


  • compound modifiers: first-quarter touchdown, better-qualified candidate, a know-it-all attitude, etc.


  • After a to-be verb: The children are soft-spoken.


  • Two-thought compounds: serio-economic, socio-economic

One specific instance in which we would not use the hyphen is with -ly adverbs. How many times have you used this phrase -"regulary-scheduled deployment"? This is not correct. The correct usage is "regularly scheduled deployment". Why? This is so as we expect these words to be modifying the word that follows. (Are the quotation marks used correctly here? Find out soon)


Today's photo is brought to us by MC3 Casey H. Kyhl. Thanks Shipmate. Kyhl's photo can be found on Navy Newsstand.


Until next time. Write on!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Aboard or On Board?

Aloha, shipmates, and happy Monday!

I had planned today to discuss the use of -ly adverbs and the punctuation of such when used as a compound modifier. However, something else came up that I want to talk about today. That is aboard vs. on board. Remember, when in doubt, check it out. This time, the place to check it out is on the Navy style Web page. Here's what this fountain of knowledge said:


These two terms mean nearly the same thing and in some uses are interchangeable. "Aboard" is the preferred usage. Use "on board" as two words, but hyphenate on board when used as an adjective.

"Aboard" means on board, on, in or into a ship. The crew is aboard the ship. An on-board medical team uses the on-board computer. BUT NOT: The Sailor is going on board the ship.


Also, a Sailor is stationed "on," "at," "is serving with" or "is assigned to" a ship. A Sailor does not serve "in" a ship. A ship is "based at" or "homeported at" a specific place. A plane is "stationed at" or is "aboard" a ship; is "deployed with" or is "operating from" a ship. Squadrons are "stationed at" air stations. Air wings are "deployed with" ships.


I hope that clears up that question ...


Before we close, I want to highlight today's selected photo, which comes to us from Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Kristopher Wilson. This photo cracked me up!

Until next time ... Write on!

AP Stylebook Updates

From Grammar Girl:
"Last week the Associated Press released the updated 2009 edition of its famous AP Stylebook. This is the language rule book used by all the journalists in the Associated Press and by many other writers, so when they make a recommendation such as approving of a new use of a word or changing a preferred spelling, it quickly becomes widespread. People often ask me why English changes over time, and new rulings by influential organizations such as the AP are part of the force behind that change."

More on Grammar Girl: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com

http://www.ap.org/pages/about/pressreleases/pr_061109a.html

Friday, June 19, 2009

To CAP or Not to Cap


Aloha, Shipmates.
I hope today was a great day for all. What did I learn today? I was reminded today of how cool it really is to be in the Navy. I attended a retirement ceremony for a master chief with 22 years of service. It was a fun ceremony. However, the grammar geek in me took the opportunity to look for tips for today's blog as I was reading through the program.

The program was very nicely done by our graphics shop here at PACFLT ... MC2 Patrick Murray and our summer intern, John Hendrickson. However, as I was reading through the bios, I was reminded of how inconsistent these bios are from person to person. MCC Eric Harrison and I laughed about it last week or so about putting ship's names in ALL CAPS or italicizing them.
I think we should do whatever the retiree wants in his or her programs and such, but we should be consistent in the document. As for our news writing, I think we should adhere to AP Style and capitalize only the first letter. I say this in reference to external releases only, because when we are at a command or on a ship, we need to follow what the skipper wants. We can fight that battle all day and night, but when it is the skipper's newspaper ... well, hello local style.

Any thoughts?

One last thing ... today's photo was taken by MC2 Kyle D. Gahlau. Great photo, Shipmate!

Have a great weekend ...

Write on!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

An apostrophe really does have a purpose!

Aloha,
It's about 2130 Hawaii time, and I was about to hit the hay for the night, but I quickly realized I hadn't posted on the blog today. Okay, so I can blame it on the migraine headache, but I won't ... I promised not to neglect the blog. I 'm trying that 20-times-and-it's-a-habit rule. I hope it works.


I digress.


Let's talk tonight about the overuse of the apostrophe. It's such a huge problem, someone has dedicated a blog to the abuse of this "confusing" punctuation mark. Check it out: http://www.apostropheabuse.com/


The top-two errors seen are "it's vs. its" and the improper apostrophe use in plurals as you see in the photo to the left. The only time we use the form "it's" is when you are using it as a contraction. "Its" in the plural form does not take the apostrophe. Grammar Girl has additional tips on her blog at http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-apostrophes.aspx

Don't forget, however, that more information on the apostrophe can also be found in the back of the AP Stylebook in the punctuation section. Once you finished reading that entry, flip the pages to the hyphen entry. We will talk more about that one later.

Until next time ... Write on!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Using PAG

Some good points have been brought up this week about ensuring our photo and video skills are where they should be, just as our writing should be. Any good tips from our resident super photographers out there would be great.

I think one important tip for all of us is to know what we are writing about, what we are shooting, etc., and why. One way to do this is to seek out public affairs guidance on a particular event, exercise, or operation. I remember in my early days as a Navy journalist I never even knew what "PAG" was. I have since learned that PAG provides lots of great background information for our news stories, scripts, captions, etc. We can prepare a large portion of your captions even before the event takes place. Using PAG helps us align our messages and tell the Navy story!

With that said, today ... let's talk about the word "en route." Is it two words or one? Check your stylebook? En route is ALWAYS two words!

Well, that's it for now ... talk with you soon.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A new header


We have a new header ... anyone else out there want to give it a shot? Thanks MC2 Brett Morton!

New header

Okay,
So the header on this blog is not up to par with the skills and talents we have within our MC community. Thanks, Chief Sullivan for pointing that out. HAHAHAHA. This goes to show all of the different talents we have within our community. I will be the first to admit that my strongest talent is in writing. That's why I am sharing that skill here.

I hear MC2 Morton from NPASE Hawaii det is looking to design a new one. Anyone else out there want to give it a shot?

We can pick our favorite. I'm all for that. Let's showcase our talented MCs' work!

Toward vs. Towards

Aloha, Shipmates!
Today, I wanted to talk about more AP Stylebook issues. How many folks really use their stylebooks when they are writing? I can tell you that I don't write anything without my stylebook with me. It's good practice. But why? In my opinion, the AP Stylebook provides consistency for our readers. AP Style helps readers identify with certain words, titles, etc. How many of you know that the Navy has a style guide? Check it out. Bookmark it. http://www.navy.mil/submit/view_styleguide.asp

Now for the tip of the day:

One of the biggest mistakes I see is the misuse of the word "toward." If you look up the entry in the AP stylebook, you will see that it says: toward Not towards.

So, let's work toward improving our writing today!

Before, I close, I wanted to say thanks to MC2 Morton from the NPASE Hawaii det. for this photo: http://www.navy.mil/view_single.asp?id=72751 and the other photos he posted from USS Crommelin's (FFG 37) on Monday, June 16. It just goes to show why we do what we do. My husband deployed aboard Crommelin. As a family member, it helps to see these photos. Thanks again, MC2.

Well, that's it for me today. Keep tellin' the story, Shipmates!

Friday, June 12, 2009

The first post

Aloha, Shipmates!

Thanks for stopping by. I wanted to create a place where I could talk about being an MC and about items that will help us be more-effective MCs. For me, I think if we improve our writing skills, we will improve our news stories, captions and other PA/VI products used to tell the Navy story and convey our messages. Your thoughts?

For example, today I learned the difference between "jibe" and "jive" after I incorrectly used "jive" in a sentence. Anyway, after learning of my error, I came home from the office and looked up both words. Thank goodness for http://www.m-w.org/:

1. Jibe means to be in agreement
2. Jive is slang for phony

This is also a good place to highlight great stories and photos as well. With that, I wanted to talk about a recent release by the MCs and PAOs aboard USS George Washington about a combat operations efficiency evaluation. This story can be found at http://www.navy.mil/search/display.asp?story_id=45448. This release received much praise from folks with several years of experience in the "reporting" world. It left no unanswered questions and the reporters were ready to print as is. Great job, GW!!!

Photo found here can be found at http://www.navy.mil/view_single.asp?id=72240

That's it for today. Have a fine Navy day!